I'm going to jail i love you
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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