we're blogging at a bar
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
