My brain says no but my pants say off.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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