I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
