i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
