i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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