WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
