I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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