took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
