A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she told me i tasted like america
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
