you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
