are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
