covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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