I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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