i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
