There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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