Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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