I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
