its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
