So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
being pregnant is like rehab
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
