Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
