The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
