We're like a lot better than the average bears
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
