No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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