this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
