your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I need moral support for this bender
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
