Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
