Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
