Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Welp...herpes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
