The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
