Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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