i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
