Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
