You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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