how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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