you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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