In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
