You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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