Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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