he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
