Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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