I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
