you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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