nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
