She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
