why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
