How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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