he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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