there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
