you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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