HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
